Oil filter changing irritation and fuel filter question.

I have a 2002 FE XLT V8 and I am so remarkably ****ed at myself for not
being able to easily change this oil filter. The filter wrench I have
can barely grip it and there are hoses in the way which make it
virtually impossible to unscrew. On top of that my last oil change was
in a shop and they tightened the hell out of the filter (normally I
hand screw it on tight so I don't have to go through this ordeal).
Anyhow, are there any tricks i'm missing here?

Also after doing all this work how do I get the service engine soon
light to shut up? Or will it shut up on its own after the car thinks
everything is ok?

I could just start yanking fuses I guess

Thanks!